Valamity!

Yesterday was my last day of classes, and I think it’s time to indulge in the old cliche of, “Damn, that went faster than I expected!” I have one-eighth of college almost officially out of the way, sans the three finals I hope to finish before Wednesday next week. Grades don’t come up in polite and proper conversation at Bryn Mawr, and this is further facilitated by the fact that I have no idea where mine are anyway — I know what I got on individual papers and tests, but I have a hard time gauging how much of an effect slipped homeworks and class participation will have on me. Enough to kick my sense of self-worth down significantly, I bet. The first page that comes up on Bryn Mawr’s website when searching for “grades” contains a caveat stating that “[f]irst year students especially may be discouraged by their grades,” which interpret as, “your mom will probably be shocked and irritated by your dismal performance.”

…A lower-that-I-would-like homework grade isn’t going to kick my ass that much, right? I understand the whole “grades don’t matter, it’s what you got out of it” attitude, and I know I’ve gotten something out of my classes, but in the past I was always able to view it in the context of not displeasing certain superiors who are now contributing a significant portion of their income to my higher education. My fears are likely irrational, I know. During Parent’s Weekend, I observed parents who were publicly hounding their daughter’s dean to know exactly where she stood: one even had the audacity to demand whether the dean knew “the difference between 95 and 100.” Um, see, what the hell? As if that difference is going to be shown in her final grade.

But back to more interesting things! This semester, I think I had a very forgiving schedule; on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, my day was done by noon, and I only worked one early breakfast shift (and weekend brunches). Next semester, the earliest I get out of class is 2:30, and I’m taking on four early breakfast shifts, plus another job if I can find one, plus participating in the VITA (Volunteer Tax Income…Assistance?) program once a week. It’s going to be harder, but I want to really feel like I’m doing something other than sitting around on the computer all the time. College is my first opportunity to get out, and given the multitude of ways I can step outside of my comfort zone…well, this is my start. Challenges are good, and this isn’t that much of one. Start small, go big.

And majorless me is contemplating Russian for the future. Bryn Mawr has an amazing Russian program, but it will take five years to take advantage of/achieve the full benefits of it, and…let’s just say that when you meet someone you like a lot when you’re this young, it’s difficult to make decisions without factoring that in. This blog, over the next few years, will probably serve more and more as a chronicle attesting to this fact (as well as a voyeuristic trudge for anybody waiting for us to break up). There have been stranger relationship stories, but this one is still unfolding, and I have a feeling it’s only going to get odder as our lives grow more complicated. You don’t consider how open-ended the future is, and how you may not be able to force your paths to cross, when you’re young and in love. But good god, are we allowed to dream?

In a couple days, Seth and I are going to hit the 2.5 year mark. In a couple weeks, he’s going to be sleeping on my living room couch. More bizarre things have happened…

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